Why your vacation doesn't bring real rest
You're sitting on the beach, the sea is murmuring, the sun is warm, and you… are checking work emails. Or wondering whether your colleague will manage that project. Or you simply can't shake an odd restlessness that won't let you be "here and now." Does this sound familiar? You're not alone. More and more people are discovering that even a holiday doesn't bring them genuine rest, and instead of feeling regenerated, they return home just as exhausted as when they left. The question of why we can't rest even on holiday, and how to learn to do so, is becoming one of the key topics in the modern approach to health and mental wellbeing.
The phenomenon of people being unable to "switch off" even during leisure time actually has a name. Psychologists call it "leisure sickness" – a term first described by Dutch psychologist Ad Vingerhoets of Tilburg University. His research showed that approximately three percent of the population regularly fall ill at the very start of a holiday, which is linked to a sudden drop in stress hormone levels that the body has grown accustomed to during periods of intense work. But even those who don't become physically ill often describe a feeling of emptiness, restlessness, or an inability to relax. The body may be on holiday, but the mind has stayed at the office.
There are many reasons why this happens, and most of them are deeply rooted in how contemporary society functions. We live in a culture that celebrates productivity and busyness. Being constantly "busy" has become something of a status symbol – if your diary isn't full, it's as though you don't amount to much. We internalise this pressure to such a degree that we begin to subconsciously perceive rest as laziness or a waste of time. And that is precisely where the problem begins. When someone spends an entire year telling themselves that resting is pointless, it's hard to suddenly switch into relaxation mode just because they've crossed the threshold of a hotel room.
Add to this the technology that keeps us on an invisible leash. Smartphones, notifications, constant availability – all of this has caused the boundary between work and personal life to practically dissolve. According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, the inability to disconnect from work is among the leading causes of chronic stress. And chronic stress has one insidious quality: the body gets used to it. The nervous system adapts to a permanent state of alertness, and relaxation then paradoxically becomes uncomfortable, because the body doesn't know what to do with it.
Imagine Markéta, a thirty-five-year-old project manager from Prague. She had been looking forward to a two-week holiday in Croatia all year long. She booked a beautiful apartment by the sea, planned excursions, and bought new books. But on the very first day, she found that instead of calm, she felt anxiety. What if something went wrong at work? What if her boss needed her? She picked up her phone and checked her emails – nothing urgent, but the relief lasted only a few minutes. The second day, the same thing. On the third day, she developed a headache and felt irritable. Only towards the end of the first week did she begin to relax a little, but by that point there was only a week left before the holiday ended, and her mind had automatically switched to planning the return. Markéta came home feeling as though she hadn't rested at all. Her story is not exceptional – it is a scenario that repeats itself in thousands of variations all over the world.
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Why Our Brain Won't Let Us Switch Off
To understand why rest is so difficult, we need to look at how our nervous system works. The human brain is evolutionarily wired to constantly scan its surroundings and look for potential threats. This mechanism, governed primarily by the amygdala, was enormously useful in times when we faced danger from predators. Today, however, the same mechanism responds to work deadlines, social pressures, and information overload. The stress response is activated even when no real danger exists, and the brain learns to function in this mode as its default setting.
Neuroscientist Amishi Jha of the University of Miami, author of the book Peak Mind, explains that our attention functions like a muscle – if we spend an entire year training it for multitasking and constant alertness, we cannot expect it to relax on command. "Attention goes where we direct it, but most of us have never consciously trained it to be directed towards the present," says Jha. And that is precisely the crux of the problem. Rest is not a passive state that occurs automatically when we stop working. Rest is a skill that must be learned and actively practised.
The so-called "default mode network" also plays a role – a network of brain regions that activates in moments when we are not consciously focused on any task. This network is responsible for mind-wandering, ruminating about the past, and planning for the future. In people with chronic stress, this network tends to be hyperactive, meaning that in moments of quiet the brain automatically returns to worries, plans, and unresolved problems. This is why you can be lying in a hammock with a cocktail in hand and, instead of relaxing, be running a mental marathon.
Another factor is perfectionism associated with rest. Paradoxically, many people set equally high standards for their holidays as they do for their work. They must visit all the landmarks, take perfect photos for Instagram, experience "the best holiday of their lives." Rather than letting themselves drift with the current, they turn their holiday into another project with tasks and deadlines. The result is that rest becomes yet another source of stress.
How to Learn to Truly Rest
The good news is that the ability to rest can be restored and strengthened. It doesn't require expensive courses or exotic retreats – just a few conscious changes in approach and daily habits, which can be put into practice long before you board a plane.
The first and arguably most important step is to start resting before the holiday even begins. This may sound obvious, but most people live the entire year in a mode of full intensity and then expect to completely regenerate within one or two weeks. That is about as realistic as expecting to run a marathon after a year of sedentary employment. Regular micro-breaks, short walks, conscious breathing, or even just five minutes of silence a day – all of this helps the nervous system maintain the ability to switch between activity and rest. Research published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology repeatedly confirms that regular short breaks during the working day have a greater impact on overall wellbeing than one long annual holiday.
The second key element is conscious disconnection from technology. It's not about throwing your phone into the sea – it's about setting clear rules. For example: no work emails after six in the evening, phone on flight mode during meals, social media for a maximum of thirty minutes a day. These boundaries are ideally practised in everyday life so that they feel natural on holiday. Some people have had good experiences with a so-called "digital detox", where for the first two days of a holiday they completely restrict phone use and allow the brain to go through a kind of "withdrawal" phase, after which a significant sense of relief follows.
The third aspect involves working with expectations. A holiday doesn't need to be perfect in order to be restorative. Sometimes the best rest is simply sitting on a balcony and gazing at the landscape, with no plan whatsoever. Permission to do nothing is something many people must literally grant themselves, because from childhood they were told that idleness is bad. And yet it is precisely in moments of apparent inactivity that the brain performs important processes – sorting memories, processing emotions, and restoring cognitive capacity. Doing nothing is not a waste of time; it is an investment in mental health.
A simple yet effective technique called the "body scan" can also help – systematically moving one's attention from head to toe and consciously releasing tension in individual parts of the body. This practice, rooted in the mindfulness tradition, is supported by a number of scientific studies and is truly accessible to everyone. Simply lie down, close your eyes, and gradually pay attention to individual parts of the body – the forehead, the jaw, the shoulders, the abdomen, the feet. Surprisingly often, you will find that you are holding tension in places you weren't even aware of. Regularly repeating this exercise teaches the body what genuine relaxation feels like, and over time this state becomes more accessible in everyday life as well.
The role of physical movement in the context of rest should not be overlooked either. It may sound counterintuitive, but moderate physical activity – a walk, swimming, yoga, or cycling – helps the body process accumulated stress hormones and shift the nervous system into parasympathetic mode, that is, into a state of "rest and restore." This is not about intense athletic performance, but about movement that brings pleasure and is done without pressure to perform. The combination of movement and time spent in nature is, according to a study published in the journal Environmental Health and Preventive Medicine, one of the most effective ways to lower cortisol levels and restore psychological balance.
And finally, there is the question of returning from holiday, which for many is just as stressful as the holiday itself. A tried-and-tested strategy is not to schedule a return to work on Monday, but to leave at least one day of "transitional" time at home. This day serves for a gradual return to routine – unpacking, shopping, light tidying – and prevents the shock of an abrupt leap from beach mode into work chaos. It also helps, at the end of a holiday, to spend a moment in conscious "closure" – going over in your mind what lovely things you experienced, what brought you joy, what you want to remember. This simple reflection helps the brain "store" positive experiences and prolongs the subjective sense of feeling rested.
The ability to rest is neither a luxury nor a weakness. At a time when burnout syndrome is affecting an ever-growing percentage of the working population according to the World Health Organisation, conscious and quality rest is one of the most important skills we can develop. You don't need to wait for a holiday to begin. Every day offers opportunities for small moments of calm – a cup of tea drunk without hurry, five minutes on a park bench, an evening walk without a phone. These small rituals are like seeds from which the ability to truly rest gradually grows, whether you are on a beach in Croatia or on the balcony of your flat. And when the next holiday comes around, you may find that this time you have finally managed to leave work where it belongs – and to be genuinely present in a moment that is yours alone.
