# Why childhood obesity requires a compassionate approach
The topic of children's weight is one that can stir strong emotions – in parents, teachers, doctors, and children themselves. Yet the way we talk about food and the body can have a deeper impact on a child than the actual contents of their plate. Childhood obesity is a complex health issue, but it is also an extraordinarily sensitive one where every word matters. That is precisely why it is worth reflecting – not on what a child eats, but on how we talk to them about food in the first place.
According to data from the World Health Organization, approximately 39 million children under the age of five are overweight or obese, and the total number of overweight children under the age of 19 exceeds 340 million. The Czech Republic is no exception – expert studies repeatedly show that the proportion of overweight children in our country has been growing steadily. Yet a key question remains unanswered: how do we talk about this issue in a way that ensures the solution does not cause more harm than good?
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Stigma as a hidden barrier to health
Research in the field of child psychology clearly shows that children who are repeatedly confronted with negative comments about their weight or body are at greater risk of developing eating disorders, anxiety, and depression. Body stigmatisation in childhood does not improve eating habits – on the contrary, it makes them worse. A child who feels ashamed of their body will not become healthier simply because someone tells them to. Instead, they will begin to perceive food as a source of stress, punishment, or comfort – and that is precisely the foundation of an unhealthy relationship with food that they may carry throughout their entire life.
Psychologist and childhood nutrition expert Ellyn Satter, whose approach is recognised worldwide today, articulated this principle very aptly: "The parent is responsible for what, when, and where the child is offered food. The child is responsible for whether and how much they eat." This seemingly simple principle of divided responsibility transforms the entire dynamic around food in the family. It ceases to be a battleground and becomes a natural part of everyday life.
Let us imagine a specific situation: ten-year-old Klára comes home from school and immediately reaches for some biscuits. Her grandmother snaps at her: "You're eating sweets again – just look at yourself!" Klára blushes and puts the biscuits down – but an hour later she eats them secretly in her room. What happened? Food became forbidden fruit, a source of shame, and at the same time a secret reward. It is precisely these moments, repeated day after day, that shape the way Klára will approach food even in adulthood.
Experts in childhood nutrition and psychology therefore agree that preventing childhood obesity does not lie in constantly commenting on weight or the amount of food consumed, but in building a healthy environment where food is neither a reward nor a punishment, nor a subject for shame.
How to talk about food without stigma – a practical approach for parents and educators
Changing the language we use when talking about food is not simply a matter of swapping words. It is a change in the entire approach – and it begins with the realisation that children perceive far more than adults tend to acknowledge. Research repeatedly confirms that children remember comments about their bodies better than praise for their performance or behaviour. Negative words about weight are stored deep within and shape self-image for decades.
The first step is to shift attention from appearance to the body's function. Instead of "you need to eat vegetables so you don't get fat," try "vegetables help your muscles and brain work better." Instead of "don't eat so much, you'll put on weight," rather "how do you feel after a lunch like that? Do you have energy?" This shift may seem minor, but for a child it makes an enormous difference – the body ceases to be an object of evaluation and becomes an instrument worth taking care of.
Another important element is the use of so-called neutral language around food. Experts in the field of intuitive eating and child psychology recommend stopping the practice of dividing food into "good" and "bad," "healthy" and "unhealthy" in a moral sense. It is more accurate and less stigmatising to speak of food that "gives you energy for the whole day," or food that "makes a great treat." A chocolate dessert is not a "sin" – it is simply a dessert that we enjoy occasionally and with pleasure. This seemingly minor linguistic change reduces the likelihood that a child will develop an obsessive relationship with "forbidden" foods.
The way adults talk about their own bodies also plays a very important role. A mother who comments on her thighs every time she looks in the mirror, or a father who says "I was terribly unhealthy today, I ate a whole pizza" – these parents are unknowingly passing on to their child a pattern in which food is associated with guilt and body shame is normal. Children learn primarily through observation, and that is why taking care of one's own relationship with food and the body is one of the most important things parents can do for their child.
Schools and educators play an equally crucial role in this regard. Comments from teachers or carers about weight, even when well-intentioned, can cause serious harm. Research published in the academic journal Pediatrics repeatedly shows that children who have experienced weight-related stigmatisation from adult authority figures have significantly worse outcomes in the areas of healthy eating and physical activity in later life. Schools should therefore place emphasis on movement as a source of joy and on dietary variety – not on monitoring weight or calories.
There are several specific approaches that experts recommend when communicating with children about food and the body:
- Ask how the child feels, not how they look – "Do you have enough energy after lunch?" rather than "You ate too much."
- Eat together as a family without screens and without comments about what anyone puts on their plate – shared meals in themselves promote healthier eating habits.
- Offer a variety of foods without pressure – a child who is not forced to "eat everything" will learn to better recognise their own sense of fullness.
- Involve the child in food preparation – children who take part in cooking naturally show greater interest in what they eat and tend to be more willing to try new foods.
- Avoid comments about weight or the body – whether about your own, someone else's, or the child's own body.
This is, of course, a long-term process, not a magic formula. But it is precisely consistency and a compassionate approach that truly work.
The topic of childhood obesity has in recent years also come to the forefront in the context of the so-called weight-inclusive approach to health, promoted by organisations such as the Association for Size Diversity and Health. This approach does not claim that weight is irrelevant – but it emphasises that health is multidimensional and that caring for the body should stem from respect, not fear or shame. For parents and educators, this means focusing on behaviours that support the child's overall wellbeing – adequate sleep, movement that is enjoyable, varied food, a safe social environment – rather than on a number on the scales.
A child who feels good in their body is more motivated to move, eat a varied diet, and take care of themselves. A child who feels ashamed of their body seeks an escape – and very often finds it in food. This seemingly paradoxical dynamic is well documented and is described by experts as one of the key mechanisms underlying the development of both obesity and eating disorders simultaneously.
Change therefore does not begin at the plate or on the scales. It begins with the words we say – or choose not to say. It begins with how we sit together at the table, how we talk about our own bodies, and how we respond when a child reaches for a second slice of cake. It is in these everyday, seemingly insignificant moments that a child's relationship with food, with their body, and with themselves is formed – and this relationship will accompany them throughout their entire life. Conscious, compassionate, and stigma-free communication about food is not merely a pleasant theory. It is one of the most concrete things any parent, teacher, or grandparent can do for a child's health – and it requires no special equipment or professional qualifications.
